The Love Language of Service

Believe it or not, Valentine's Day is about a month away.  This seems like a good time to review the Five Love Languages.  I love this book.  It has revolutionalized my relationships with my husband and my kids.  This book is about how you give and receive love and by knowing the love language of your spouse, or kids you can show them love in a way that really speaks to them. 









The 5 Love Languages

After 17 years of marriage  my husband and I decided to try and figure each others out.  We thought we knew each other pretty well, so it surprised us when we figured out how both of us truly do feel the most loved.   After my husband thought about it, he decided he feels the most loved when I serve him by making sure he has clean clothes to wear, a clean house to come home to, and yummy meals.  I wanted to clarify.

"You mean, you feel more loved by this than if I tell you how awesome and manly you are??? {the language of praise/words of affirmation}"

Uh, yeah.

 "Or you really feel more loved by this than if I gave you a backrub??? {the language of physical touch}"

Yes, but then he had to clarify that one which we won't go into here, because this is a family friendly blog y'all and I know my nieces and nephews read this too!  ;)  Anyway!  Moving on!

Anyway!  So I am having a really hard time wrapping my head around this one.  I know my husband said he feels loved and cared for when he comes home from work to a clean house, and a hot meal with clean clothes put away in his drawers, but honestly?  These don't feel like love statements to me.  They are chores for me.

So if he comes home to a messy house, does that mean I don't love him?  If I'm too frazzled to cook a meal, does he feel any less love?    Intellectually I get it I guess.  I can see how being taken care of would make you feel loved ~ obviously.  I'm just having a hard time getting past the chore aspect of it day in and day out.  These are things I feel are just expected of me anyway ~ not grand gestures of love!  And the daily cleaning of the house, the never ending laundry and always trying to think of something to cook for dinner ... aren't they things you just don't notice after a while if they are always being done?  Will he still feel loved even then?

So in thinking about this, I've decided I should put more thought into the tasks to make them feel like I am personalizing them for him.

I can make more of an effort to cook him a special treat that I know he likes.  Or his favorite meal more often.
 
I've even decided maybe I should make cleaning the bathroom even more special and fold down the toilet paper like they do at the hotels I've visited.  Lol!

And!  I've been haunting the stores for cute little heart shaped trinkets I can put in his drawers when I put his clothes away.  Right now is a great time to find them {or when they go on clearance after Valentine's}.

 These are all from Hobby Lobby

My favorite one is this little envelope you 

could put personalized little notes in.

Or if you wanted you could create fun little printable messages or print these cute ones from The Happy Home Fairy:

More on my pinterest page

I don't know.  Maybe that is straying a little into the gifts category of showing love but it makes it seem a little more as if I'm saying I love you when I put his clothes away.

Anyway!  So my love language is quality time.  {So when the Hubs asked me to accompany him on a business trip to Washington DC last year?  Yeah, I was swooning!  :) }

And for those who need a little review of the 5 Love Languages, they are:  Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch.

Do you know yours?

Your husbands?

Your kids?

Do tell!

The Eyes Have It

We all know that certain colors look better on certain people.  I now know that black certainly doesn't compliment me, but on others it does.  Coloring has always fascinated me.  Recently my fashion friend, Jeanine at Seasonal Color Analysis ,  has been having a lot of fun exploring and refining colors in her wardrobe.  She linked to a fun way to personalize your color palette by examining your own coloring in a specific way that fascinated me.

She introduced me to the concept of Body Harmony Colors where you analyze your eyes, cheeks and gumline in natural daylight to see what colors they are, then combine them into a list of colors to wear that will compliment you.  It's a little more complicated than that, but you get the gist. {She links to Living Life As A True Summer where there is a little more how-to info if you're interested!}

My eyes in natural daylight

So I've been trying to get a good picture of my eyes to study.  Incidentally, while trying to get a good picture of my eye I was able to capture pictures of crazy things reflecting off my eyes, like the photographer with their camera {ahem!  That would be me!} or this one below where you could see a white car parked on the side of the road at preschool pickup.  Craziness!

See the car?

My eyes are what I've always called hazel but really they are chameleon eyes.  They change colors depending on lighting or what I'm wearing.  And when I was trying to get a good picture in various different light settings I got a range of different eye colors.

Honest!  This is still my eye!

Here they are looking a little more green.  Sometimes they look brownish or greyish.  I think my true eye color though is more like the very top picture.  My favorite eye color is when they turn blue green.  That's when I get the most compliments on my eyes.  I would love to figure out how to emphasize them to be this color more consistently.  I've never really paid attention to what I'm either wearing, or how I did my makeup on those days when they stand out like that.  But I think they tend to do that more when I'm wearing blues and greens. 

So these body harmony colors really intrigue me and have opened up so many questions for me.  If I take the colors of my eyes and wear them, will they stand out more?  But what color are my eyes really if they are always changing colors on me???  Oh no!  I feel like I'm about to head down a rabbit hole!  Lol!  And then I wonder, what would an iridologist have to say about my eyes? Haha!  Make that two rabbit holes! ~wink~wink~

Sorry about the quality on the closeups.  Not sure what to do about that to get a better picture except maybe a better camera?  Lol!  :D

My Current Favorite Accessory

Recently this gold and pearl necklace

has become my favorite accessory.

It's a long strand I like to double up

that I bought at Target last year.

So, nothing fancy but...

It goes with almost anything!

I love that!

~ ~ ~

Do you have a favorite go-to piece?

~ ~ ~

Linking up to Not Dead Yet Style for Visible Monday

Nester's Home Goals Party

Nester once again has challenged us to post our goals for our homes, so before I get to posting goals for this year, I thought I would review last year's first.

Backyard Patio Spruce Up:

Not much happened in the yard this year other than cleaning it up a little and finding I had a cozy little corner under the pergola since the plants have grown a little more mature.  Aaaahhhh!   None of the other goals I posted were completed!  :)

Master Bedroom:

I actually accomplished the new paint, the new dresser vignette and getting rid of the tv which is coming back {because otherwise I don't see my husband at night so I'd rather fall asleep next to him even if he is watching something on the tv}.

Update the Teen's Room

Loft bed was removed, new furniture arrangement created but no new bedskirt yet ~ I have the supplies, I just need to finish it. 

Update the Toddler's Room:

Loft bed was put in and then was taken out because it took up too much room.  And the toys were organized and decluttered.  Hip, hip, hooray!  But!  We had to repaint and the airplanes had to come down ~sniff~sniff~.  Now he wants a fireman room. Guess I will be working on that this year.

Update Family Room: 

 
Well, we certainly DID update it!  We knocked the wall down.  I'm getting the plantation shutters I wanted and even getting a few new pieces of furniture.  Hooray!

So my goals for this year?

I'm still going to hope to finish off the basement and get built-in cabinetry for the study.  But realistically, I want to get things more organized and simplified and decluttered.  I need to finish decorating the new family room, and redecorate the toddlers fireman room.  So those are the major goals I'd like to accomplish this year.  I'm sure lots of other little things will get done along the way so we will see what this year brings!

What are some of your home goals?

Farm Adventures

I mentioned the other day how I want to create relationships with my local farmers and how this year I wanted to add happy and healthy animals into my diet instead of drugstore meat where I have no clue how it was raised.  So last week my son and I headed out to a local organic meat farm to pick up some fresh chicken, beef and pork for the freezer.

You can see the chickens and pigs as you pull up.  So we decided to go visit them before heading into the barn to pick up our goods.  The pigs were happily oinking away and I thought, "Whoa!  We're going to be eating one just like you soon!" and it almost freaked me out!  And that's when I realized how far away and out of touch from my food I've become.  Meat does not grow in some little plastic wrapped package ~ it came from a real, live breathing animal.

So I whisper some words of heartfelt gratitude towards the pigs as my son starts frantically tugging at my me.  I turn around to see this:

A little piggy had escaped and was running and beelining it straight towards us!!!

Now, I have no clue what a pig will do to us and my son was pretty nervous so we booked it into the barn lickety-split!  This is when I make my grand entrance and introduce myself to the farmer for the first time:

"Well, hello farmer!  So nice to meet you!  I hope to create a long and lasting relationship with you and your meat!"

But it really went more like this:

"Eeek!  Hey!  Um...there's a pig on the loose out there!  Help!!! Save me!!!!"

Or something like that.  And this is when I had my second revelation about my food.

I am sooo NOT a farmgirl!!!!

I mean, I was freaked out by a pig!!!  A pig!!!  They are much smaller than the herd of cows that tried to gang up on me once.  The cows were going to ambush me and stampede me.  Honest.  I saw it in their big brown eyes.  And they were gathering together and staring me down.  Yep.  That's a scary story too!  But that should be a story for another day!  ~wink~wink~

So, yeah.

Have you ever been around farm animals much?

~ ~ ~

{Sorry about the bad photo taken with my phone while we were running away in terror! At least I had the presence of mind to hurry and snap a pic!}

Thoughts On Home Improvement

So we started our little home improvement project a week or so before Halloween.  It always takes us 10 times longer than we think it will!  We are DIY'ers and we're pretty slow at it since most of our actual work time is done on weekends and my husband can be a perfectionist and really takes his time to get it perfectly the way he wants it.  To be fair though at least three of our weekends were taken up by other things such as a health crisis or a wind storm!

My husband enjoys doing projects like this and is good at it.  I don't have the patience for it.  I can't stand the extended mess it creates.  And I can't stand painting.  I'm not good at it.  And I'm not afraid to admit it.  I have accepted this fact.  This is why I am a lifestyle blogger instead of a decorating or a crafty blogger.  I just don't enjoy doing that crafty stuff.  I can appreciate it and admire others who do it.  I mean, I really don't mind hiring others or buying from people who do enjoy creating that kind of stuff and are actually good at it.

It kind of reminds me of this scene from Downton Abbey:

Matthew {the young guy}:  I've been meaning to speak to you about Mosley.  Would you find me very ungrateful if I dispensed of his services?

Lord Grantham:  Why?  Has he displeased you in some way?

Mathew:  Not at all ~ it's simply that he's superfluous to our style of living...

Lord Grantham:  Is that quite fair?  To deprive a man of his livelihood when he's done nothing wrong?

Mathew:  Well, I wouldn't quite put it~

Lord Grantham:  Your mother derives satisfaction from her work at the hospital I think, some sense of self worth...

Mathew:  Well, certainly -

Lord Grantham:  Would you really deny the same to poor ol' Mosley?  And when you are master here ~ is the butler to be dismissed?  Or the footman?  How many maids or kitchen staff will be allowed to stay or must everyone be driven out?  We all have different parts to play Matthew.  And we must all be allowed to play them.

Yeah!  I mean, who am I to deprive people the chance to create, make beautiful things and be paid for it so that I don't have to???    "We all have parts to play!" and I am willing to play mine.  Next time, I want to hire out our home improvements!  Gosh!  I'm so "noble" ~wink~wink~.

By the way, Season 2 begins on January 8th!  I am so excited!!! I can.not.wait!!!!  If you haven't watched it yet and love period dramas then hurry and get yourself caught up!!!

Now was that a crazy tie-in or what? 

What about you?

  

Are you a DIY'er?  

Or would you rather hire things out ?

Sneak Peek of the Remodel

Here's a sneak peek at the mini remodel.  

We are almost finished - the carpet was installed earlier this week and I have slowly been trying to put things back together.  The main portion of our remodel was knocking the wall out between two rooms to make a larger family room.

We didn't really use the formal living room in the front much anyway so it was kind of wasted space.  Believe it or not, even though we still have a portion of the wall left {it has all sorts of wiring and duct work running through it so we had to leave it} we have a lot better traffic flow through here.

We beefed up the baseboards and 

trimmed out the openings.

My husband did all of this himself.  

I think it looks pretty awesome!

Everyone thinks I should put some sort of vinyl something

up there above the window opening.

But I'm not sure what I would put.

Suggestions are welcome!

I think my husband did a fabulous job!

We still have a few other projects to finish like hardwood on the stairs and landing area and new railings but this was the main focus of the remodel.  More pictures later when I have found some new furniture and have put everything else back together again!